The Joy of the French Press

The most popular drink in the world is water. (Thank God it’s not ovaltine.)

The second most popular drink in the world? Tea.

The third? Coffee.

(I don't know if this is true but it's the subject of this article so yeah, let's go with this theory.)

Here in the U.S., we have a major love affair with coffee, (tea just never caught on, I guess something happened back in the day, something in Boston...I don’t know) and for some of us it’s a daily necessity to start the day, get us energized, and help us poo.

There are so many different ways to turn this tiny little bean that has been hand picked by poor Colombian children into your daily cup of joe.

(Sidenote: Who is Joe? What did he have to do with coffee? Like, did he “discover it” or was he the first guy to spill some milk into his mug? These are the real questions the fake news never wants to answer.)

There’s your basic drip coffee which you can find in any corner bodega served in the finest of china — the Greek cup.

Or of course, you can run into your boss at the communal coffee pot, where, no matter how much coffee goes into your mug, you’re still exhausted and ready for nap time.

You could also flock to the newest rage in coffee consumption, the Keurig, where you wait five minutes for a truly terrible cup of coffee. Like seriously, it doesn't come out hot, it really is not that strong, and if you want one with special flavors (white girls’ favorite: pumpkin spice), you need to look elsewhere.

And of course you can just go and spend $5.00, wait on a 30 minute line, say a jumble up of words to a poor barista who is saving up money to go to law school and deal with his judgemental side eye as he scribbles your name incorrectly on the cup. Like you really need all of that in your life, and on top of it, this is the only one that requires pants!

These methods of making your favorite black energizer potion all assist with you getting your fix and getting it quickly. But what about when you have time on your hands and you just want to enjoy a nice strong cup? The times when you can look like a middle aged women in a drug commercial holding a cup of steaming coffee and looking out the window wondering how Cialis has made her life so much more meaningful. Then her dog comes by and you’re like “oh my god, a dog - I want 10!”. What about those moments where you want that kind of experience?

Well, say Bonjour to the French Press…

(oui, oui)

These little devices will cost you about $20.00 and might take a bit longer than your normal Keurig to brew your cup. However, the little bit more effort that gets put in pays off in a major way.

The process is quite simple, make water hot, put coffee grinds at bottom of the glass canister, put hot water into said canister mixing with the grinds, let it steep for five minutes and then press down the strainer and voila, un cafe.

The five minute time period allows the coffee to steep with the water and the pressing part will extract the caffeine. This creates a very strong cup which is kind of what you need to set up for a fun day of adventure.

But the french press offers more than just a strong beverage - it’s the tea pot of coffee.

When you drink from a teapot, there is a pull to slow down and enjoy it a bit more than when you just make quick cuppa. You also feel fancy as hell, like you just found out you were the lost princess of Genovia.

Both the pot and the press invite you to just sit back and read your new issue of “O magazine” as you look out your window and hear the call of the hummingbird as a gentle breeze whispers into your dwelling. You won't get that experience with a K-cup.

(Just like this lady, and of course cookies make it all the better...cookies make everything better.)

There are also some really great ways to make that cup just a little more on point. Add a dash of cinnamon for a nice warm flavor like mommy making pies on a Sunday in October, or even some used up vanilla beans for a nice vanilla flavor note. ‘Cause don't we all have spare vanilla beans just sitting around. No just me? Ok, I guess it's just me.

Now because the process does take longer than your typical K-cup, it may be hard to pull off this little treat in your normal morning routine; especially when you only give yourself a half hour because you love sleep too much.

In that case, consider this your little reward on Saturday and Sunday mornings for getting through the week without committing a major felony. (Note: If you commit a major felony, do not reward yourself with a french pressed cup of coffee.)

All you need now is a good book, a comfy chair, a toasty blanket, and your nice warm cup of coffee. What better way is there to start your day?